oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
