My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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