do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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