They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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