i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
