I think I died a long time ago.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
