You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
