Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
