What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
