Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
