very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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