We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
