So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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