Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
