hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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