why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
