Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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