Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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