Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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