hell yes lets make some ravioli
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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