I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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