so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
