My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
