I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
