I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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