his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
