you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
