i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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