Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
