first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize