i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
