it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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