We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
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it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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