mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.