Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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(845): oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call. http://tfl.nu/l86s

Replies (13) Good night (540) Bad night (2228) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

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(720): we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons http://tfl.nu/079e

Replies (4) Good night (4737) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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(484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox

Replies (9) Good night (4838) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

People still let you watch their kids?

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(970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p

Replies (18) Good night (5955) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

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(817): MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice. http://tfl.nu/3445

Replies (10) Good night (737) Bad night (3125) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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(803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61

Replies (22) Good night (5111) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5

Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1783)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

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(405): We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation. http://tfl.nu/qmhd

Replies (10) Good night (2203) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven

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(707): They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven http://tfl.nu/tpek

Replies (10) Good night (1898) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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(843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c

Replies (7) Good night (1882) Bad night (500)
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(972): View more from Texas

The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

(972): View more from Texas

OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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(972): The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard (972): OHHH and there was a Batman too. http://tfl.nu/jx09

Replies (13) Good night (1247) Bad night (454)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you

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(812): I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you http://tfl.nu/vw2w

Replies (15) Good night (1766) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(248): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/8umi

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(347): View more from New York

WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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(347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80

Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (328)
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(443): View more from Maryland

6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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(443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg

Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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