i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY