Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i came on her dog
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
