He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
