I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
