You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You took a bar mat shot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
