watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
