fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
