I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
