Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
