he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!