i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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