will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
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any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night