Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
