she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dating After Heartbreak
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.