I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
third nipple confirmed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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