Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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