I heard we made out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
