What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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