I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
