I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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