Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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