I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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