im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
