i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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