He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
