i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
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you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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