if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
