my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dicks are not precious.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize