separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
