My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
