couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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