ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
